Tom: So I am generating fan mail.
Bruce: Delinquincy reminders on parking tickets do not count as fan mail.
Tom: No, I received an email from a friend offering to buy a gun, drive up to Ithaca, and put me out of my misery.
Bruce: Did you decide to take him up on the offer? It would resolve the parking ticket situation.
Tom: Nah, I figured I would hold out for a better offer.
Bruce: For the benefit of the readers, are you ever planning on running?
Tom: My knee is still swollen, I am hoping to be back running by Tuesday.
Bruce: So bad parking tickets jokes until then?
Tom: [Hangs head and leaves]
Bruce: What is wrong with Tom McArdle?