Vacation

Tom: I am going to take a 3 week break from the blog due to finals and the fact that running over the next few weeks seems unlikely due a persistently nagging knee. I will hopefully be back running strong this summer in Boston and will restart the blog then.

Trading at a Penny

Tom: Not a great day in the market today.
Bruce: Is that comment related to running?
Tom: Sorry, distracted with a side project of becoming the next Jim Cramer.
Bruce: What is your current market value in the running world?
Tom: I am trading at $1.2, that is reflective of how many miles I will run this week.
Bruce: I am shorting you, I am guessing that mileage total will fall.
Tom: That is a bad trade, the knee is hopefully getting better and I will hopefully be trading at $20-$30 in the upcoming weeks.
Bruce: No, I like my trade.
Tom: What price are you offering on the option contract?
Bruce: I am shorting to .1, that leaves room for you stumbling to regain your balance about 5 times in a week.
Tom: I will open this up for option contract bids in the comments below. If anyone still reads the blog.

Coldplay

Bruce: Hey, turn it down for a second, what is that Coldplay?
Tom: Yeah.
Bruce: Why are you listening to Coldplay?
Tom: Keith Kelly wrote on his blog that I should listen to Coldplay.
Bruce: Huh, I guess he must really like Coldplay.
Tom: Yeah, it is a little to pop for my taste, but I figured I would respect his wishes. You know he has an entire blog about music and running.
Bruce: An entire blog about music and the best thing he knows to recommend is Coldplay. Wow I guess he really just follow major record label music.
Tom: You know I discovered a great new band called Bat for Lashes, they are very cool.
Bruce: You should let Keith know about them, he could use a little help with his music choices. Coldplay, unbelievable.
Tom: Well to move to the subject of running, the knee is still not good but optimistic in a few days it will be better. I am keeping to my lifting routine and may jump on the road bike tomorrow if the weather is alright.

New goals

Tom: I am in the process of re-adjusting my expectations, as I have not met a single self-imposed expectation in years.
Bruce: You expect to run? Haven't you been reading this blog?
Tom: Quiet, I need a short term goal to get me through the end of the semester.
Bruce: How about try to run more than Keith in the next few weeks
Tom: Keith is recovery from a stress fracture at the moment.
Bruce: I would still bet on him.
Tom: Thanks
Bruce: What is your current status?
Tom: The outside of my left knee is tight and clicking so I am resting until it feel better.
Bruce: Sounds like a good plan.
Tom: What just rest until things are better?
Bruce: I have nothing to do for the next five years, what the hell, I say wait it out.

Good news, bad news

Tom: Good news, I ran yesterday for 22 minutes and knee and achilles felt better after a few days of rest.
Bruce: Bad news, a successful 22 minute run is something to celebrate.
Tom: Bad news, my knee is still a little tender post run.
Bruce: Good news, you have not tripped over yourself in public for 2 days straight.
Tom: Goods news, I have lifted every other day for close to 2 months now and getting stronger.
Bruce: Bad news, the Animal Flex supplement you bought is something that supplement manufacturers sell to dumb people.
Tom: Good news, I am going to the Girl Talk concert tonight.

Click-click

Tom: Do you hear that clicking sound?
Bruce: No
Tom: Listen hard.. (Tom walks)
Bruce: Still no
Tom: My knee is clicking a bit.
Bruce: What is that container on your desk?
Tom: Animal Flex, a bodybuilder friend of mine reccomended it to me. It is supposed to really help joint lubrication.
Bruce: And since you have started taking it your knee has started to click.
Tom: Yes
Bruce: Good investment.
Tom: I also bought shares in AIG yesteday, true story.
Bruce: This post speaks for itself.

Balls and Running

Bruce: Great topic choice, are you we talking about your lack thereof today?
Tom: No, I was referring to the Law School Ball I went to last night.
Bruce: Date?
Tom: Lets stick to running. The point was that I was out late and exhausted all day. However, when I was out on my 22 minute run I felt great.
Bruce: When are you going to do a real run?
Tom: I am going to bump things up to 30 minutes runs by the end of the week.
Bruce: You still have not answered my question.
Tom: Patience.

Optimistic run

Tom: I had another good 22 minute run today. I am one run away from achieving the initial goal.
Bruce: Running more miles in a week than the number of fingers on one hand?
Tom: No, I am close to two hands anyways. My goal was to make it through my first week back at Cornell without any hiccups.
Bruce: Exciting times, so any big plans? A late spring Marathon?
Tom: Funny, no, I am just in a positive state of mind about my health.
Bruce: That makes two of us that are positive.
Tom: What are you positive about?
Bruce: I am positive your good mood will not last.
Tom: That was horrible.
Bruce: Agreed.

Bottles and Models

Tom: I felt great on a 21 minute run today after having a big lifting session the day before.
Bruce: Big lifting session, seems unlikely. Remind me again what the heavily assisted pullup regimen is supposed to accomplish?
Tom: I am trying to slowly alter my body composition so as to make me more solid and thereby less prone to injury.
Bruce: How many times a day would you guess that you flex in the mirror to see whether you look muscular?
Tom: That is a ridiculous question.
Bruce: 3 times a day.
Tom: 2 times at most, sometimes only 1. There is a small part of me that is lifting to get ready for my future bottles and models lifestyle.
Bruce: Bottles and models lifestyle? Will that year coincide with the year that you run a 13:00 5k.
Tom: They seem a bit mutually exclusive.
Bruce: I think they would be better defined as mutually delusional. But I guess you never know, a 20 minute run and a 60 pound pullup, the start of two dreams destined for...
Tom: Alright, you are done.

Back to Bruce

Bruce: You are back.
Tom: I never thought I would hear those words from you.
Bruce: Do not get too excited, you still are the worst runner ever.
Tom: So I had my first 20+ minute run in Ithaca in over a month today.
Bruce: My answer above additionally covers my response to this comment as well.
Tom: Good to have you back.
Bruce: Wait, that is it? This post lacks a punch line.
Tom: I am tired and finding it hard to get up for this at the moment.
Bruce: That is what she said.

The rising

Tom (On phone): Hey, you are live on my blog. Good buzz right now as the health is improving.
Bruce: Tom? Is that you?
Tom: Bruce? I thought I dialed Jilane?
Bruce: Yeah she left my place this morning without her phone.
Tom: What? Listen this is your week off, let me try someone else.
(Tom Dialing)
Tom: Joe, what is going on? You are live on the blog.
Joe: Blog? Is it like your old blog?
Tom: Yeah, just less running.
Joe: So what is the point?
Tom: Well, I am still figuring it out. We are follow the Facebook method, first get good content, then get a subscribership, and then worry about having a bottom line.
Joe: How is that going?
Tom: Well I ran 28 minutes today and my brother's neighbor put a security network on his wireless network so we have still not yet had a hit today.
.......
Tom: Hello? Joe?
.....

Rebuttal

Jilane: Jordan, have you told Tom yet you dumped him?
Jordan: I've been avoiding his calls. I don't return his e-mails. He'll catch on.
Jilane: Yeah, I guess he's used to that sort of treatment by now.
Jordan: Speaking of treatment, how's that fungal infection going?
Jilane: Totally cleared up. Tom had some great first-hand advice. This one time when he was in India...
Jordan: Stop. That's awful. This is why I have a man who's been to jail coaching me instead.
Jilane: Let's face it. Tom's in the wrong sport. Tom should be in billiards.
Jordan: Yo, did he ever acknowledge that whole "liking dudes" comment?
Jilane: Now that you mention it... No. I just assumed it was generally accepted.

Jordan: Hmm. Nice one. Guess he forgot you still have his blog password.
Jilane: Payback really is a bitch.

Payback

Jilane: Wow Tom's blog, finally I have arrived.
Tom: Thanks, just to give you the heads up sarcasm does not read well on the blog, the readers might take you seriously.
Jilane: They know.
Tom: Well being a guest commentator is a bit of an honor when you consider the commentators that proceeded you.
Jilane: George and Bruce? Yeah, two hard acts to follow. This about as hard as the time that I followed Nark at a date auction.
Tom: So now is the time that you are supposed to ask me about my run.
Jilane: Nah, I talked with Bruce and we decided to not talk about your running until he returns as the commentator. The logic is that if we condense all your running from a week into one day it might add up to a real day of training.
Tom: I am not taking Bruce back as a commentator. He wanted too high of an equity stake in the blog.
Jilane: Who are you going to replace him with?
Tom: I outsourced his job to some guy in India who has a serious gambling problem and never has anything nice to say to me. Should be a seamless transition.
Jilane: Cutting his job during a recession. Payback is a bitch.
Tom: It sure is.
Jilane: I have a horrible fungal infection and suck at life.

Blog Tour: Day 1

George: So, uh, how did the first day of the Blog Tour go?
Tom: Really well, thanks for asking.
George: Wait. You didn't run, and we're wearing matching Gap outfits. How is this a good day?
Tom: I talked to a girl.
George: That doesn't count. She beat you at Pong and gets to guest author your blog.
Tom: But I talked to a girl.
George: (Sigh.) When does she get to post?
Tom: Today. I like dudes.

My Greek Tee-Shirt

Bruce: Why are you wearing my old fraternity tee-shirt?
Tom: I am trying to integrate into the gym community.
Bruce: Remind me again how you bench pressing 45 pounds in my old fraternity tee-shirt is part of the comeback to competitive running program?
Tom: Look good, feel good; Feel good, feel healthy; Feel healthy, run healthy.
Bruce: How is it going so far?
Tom: My left achilles was bugging me yesterday so I only ran for 8 minutes.
Bruce: You know a pink sorority shirt might suit you a bit better. Remember first step: Look good.

Blog Tour

Tom: I am taking the blog on a five city tour next week.
Bruce: Which cities?
Tom: Washington, New York, Providence, Boston, Hanover.
Bruce: What is the tour's theme?
Tom: Everything will be fine in 2009.
Bruce: Aren't things buggered at the moment?
Tom: Yeah
Bruce: Worse than it was in 2008?
Tom: Yes.
Bruce: So how about this as a theme instead "It wasn't great in 2008, further decline in 2009."
Tom: Nice theme, on that note I will be having a series of guest speaker on this blog to replace you for a week. As far as running goes, I had a solid 14 minute run today. I ran 8 minutes two days earlier. I am doing a lot of gym work and playing a little basketball.

Oatmeal run

Tom: I spoke with a friend that challenged me to try to complete the couch to 5k plan from runnersworld.
Bruce: Sounds ambitious, did you accept?
Tom: No, there was far too much brisk walking involved and I do not currently have the disposable cash for hand weights or a female friend to chat without about which Ann Taylor summer dresses we should buy.
Bruce: So what is the plan instead?
Tom: I ran 8 minutes today, probably run 10 minutes on Wednesday. The achilles is quietening down but the excitement never stops.

Cross training

Tom: So my achilles started giving me problems and I have been doing some cross training.
Bruce: That is a good idea it will make the transition back to 8 minutes runs much easier.
Tom: I am going to ignore that, anyways I have been lifting, dancing in bars, and playing a little basketball.
Bruce: Sounds like an good regime, I think a lot of frat guys follow a similar plan.
Tom: Hmm.. I had not thought of that.
Bruce: Yeah, do not worry, about half of the athletes in Beijing profiled on NBC shared a similar story. Most of them woke up covered in beer and decided to start training. A year later they were competing for gold.
Tom: I am not waking up in beer.
Bruce: There is a liquor store down the street, let's get to work.

The common cold

Bruce: Stay away from me.
Tom: Good to see you to. I did a light jog today since I have a bit of a head cold. My left achilles was bugging me even on the very short jog and I thought about turning around after a few minutes.
Bruce: I trust that you pressed on and ran all the way to 4 minute turn-around spot.
Tom: I made it to the 5 minute turn around point.
Bruce: So the oatmeal was a bit overdone this morning?
Tom: No, I picked it up on the way back, you could barely taste the burning.

Feeling good

Bruce: Did you see Keith's result at the Ras Ne Hearen?
Tom: Yeah, going to make hard to compete with his blog. I did pass two people on my run today.
Bruce: Were they going the other way?
Tom: Yeah, however, I did manage a 17 minute run without the calf bothering me. The problem should resolve entirely over the course of the next week and I should be back at full strength.
Bruce: Full strength? Overstatement?
Tom: Well, at least doing runs that take longer then the time it takes to boil oatmeal.
Bruce: That is an odd reference, have you been putting oatmeal on to boil before heading out for runs?
Tom: What is wrong with a 8 minute run and hot ready oatmeal at the end.
Bruce: Nothing, I will book the tickets for London in 2012, you start stockpiling oatmeal for the double days.

Girls

Bruce:(On phone) Where are you?
Tom: (also on phone) I am with a couple girls.
Bruce: Battlestar Galatica?
Tom: Nah, it is a rerun tonight.
Bruce: Who are the girls.
Tom: Blog Groupies
Bruce: They like the blog?
Tom: No
Bruce: Wait that sounds right, so you are actually with girls.
Tom: Surprising, I have been doing a lot of lifting recently.
Bruce: Huh, what does the fact that you do the assisted pullup machine every week has to do with girls?
Tom: Nothing just wanted to mention that I am lifting.

Take me back to the start

Tom: So I was back to my old loop today.
Bruce: What loop?
Tom: My one mile loop.
Bruce: You mean that you ran once around your block.
Tom: Yeah, the calf was a bit sore but made it through the run.
Bruce: Congrats, what other failures do you want to share with us today?
Tom: Well first of all the run was a success, but on the subject of failures I was eliminated from my moot court competition today.
Bruce: Were you eliminated via Rose Ceremony.
Tom: No, it went down a lot more like American Idol. Three judges telling me I am hack and me being consoled outside by a beautiful women.
Bruce: That a lie.
Tom: No I really was a hack.
Bruce: Yeah not quite the reference I was referring to.
Tom: Fine, there was no beautiful women, I thought you might let is slide considering I am posting on a running blog how my one mile did not go well.
Bruce: Fair and Balanced.

I miss running

Tom: I really miss running this weekend.
Bruce: Oh god, is this another sentimental blog post.
Tom: Yeah, however I have a great article to post.
Bruce: Alright just say you are sad because you strained your calf running 6 miles a week and post the article.
Tom: I am sad because I strained my calf running 9 Miles a week but here is an amazing article that explains why I love sports: http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/02/13/greene.excellence/index.html

A rebuttal

Bruce: Didn't you just say you were too tired to write anymore.
Tom: I did but just read http://www.kelrock.blogspot.com/ and Keith called out this blog and me personally for being uncool.
Bruce: Do you want me to call INS on him?
Tom: Nah, but we need a strong rebuttal to prove this blog's superiority. He had an interview with Martin Fagan on his blog.
Bruce: So what is the plan?
Tom: We could do a Bruce Hyde interview.
Bruce: Can't be worse than the usual content on this blog
Tom: Alright question 1#: How has your training been going since your last race?
Bruce: That is a stupid question. We are not going to be able to compete with Keith's blog if we talk about running.
Tom: True, alright new question 1# If you and Martin Fagan (weighing in close at close to 140 lbs) jumped out a plane which one of you would reach terminal velocity first?
Bruce: You are an ass.
Tom: Question 2# If you and Martin Fagan were to compete in a battle of the cover bands competition infront of drunk townies who would get more cat calls from the 40 year women?
Bruce: This interview is over.
Tom: I present to you the indomitable Bruce Hyde....This is the greatest blog in the world..... Except for maybe this one....http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=51700237

A calf strain

Bruce: How did you strain your calf? You are hardly even running.
Tom: I did calf raises and the next day my upper left calf was sore. It is the same spot but the other side as the previous calf strain. I am going to rest for a few days.
Bruce: How many calf raises did you do?
Tom: About 30.
Bruce: Sounds about right.
Tom: Too tired to write today.

What are you so dressed up for?

Bruce: Nice suit, what are you interviewing for a job?
Tom: Nope, I am involved in a moot court competition.
Bruce: Is that some kind of class?
Tom: No, you do not get any credit.
Bruce: So do you get paid?
Tom: No, there is a prize if you win but that is unlikely.
Bruce: So the Law School made you do it?
Tom: No, I choose to do it.
Bruce: Congrats I will have to take you out to celebrate.
Tom: Thanks
Bruce: Only the place we will go does not serve drinks and no else really goes there and I am busy that night so I cannot make it .
Tom: So what is the point?
Bruce: Exactly.
Tom: Ahhh... another valuable life lesson. I ran 24 minutes today and my left calf was tight but the beautiful weather made it a nice run.

Bruce: I was out on Saturday and meet a few people that thought your blog was terrible.
Tom: Easy to criticize my blog when you do not have a blog of your own.
Bruce: Actually they had a blog as well.
Tom: Is it better than this blog?
Bruce: Actually, it is worse.
Tom: That is surprising. Especially for you to say that.
Bruce: Hearing stories of your trying to run 8 minutes only to fail due to a severe case of Lupus is interesting relative to their blog.
Tom: Well, I managed a 23 minute run today and the Lupus is in remission. So things are looking up. What was the blog's name?
Bruce: http://whobroughtthesasquatch.blogspot.com/

Patriot Act

Tom: I just got off the phone with my bank who told me that the delay in cashing my check is due to it being investigated pursuant to the Patriot Act.
Bruce: Is the check from a Nigerian prince that is being held captive?
Tom: No, those Nigerian Prince emails are scams. The check I cashed came from a lottery in Antigua that I won. The funny thing is that I do not even entering the lottery, it was a good thing the commissioner sent me an email informing me of my win.
Bruce: Wow, congratulations. Just to be clear, what parts of the story above are made-up?
Tom: Patriot act investigation true, Antigua lottery false.
Bruce: Well at least you got a check even if you do end up it Gitmo.
Tom: Yup, it made my 20 minute run yesterday all that much sweeter. Unfortunately I am so sore from lifting two days ago that I have to take today off lifting. Great 90 minute basketball game as well last night, the body is improving.

I am so academic

Bruce: What is wrong with Tom McArdle today?
Tom: http://mootcourt.lawschool.cornell.edu/Winterrecord.pdf
Bruce: What is that?
Tom: Gobbledigook.
Bruce: Nice.
Tom: 18 minute run today. I am kind of busy so here is a video instead of my ramblings.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJuDE8heHRI&feature=related

Vegan Protein Power

Tom: In the spirit of my attempt at becoming more muscular I bought some vegan protein powder.
Bruce: Are you trying to secure a spot on the PETA bodybuilding calender?
Tom: I have been diligently hitting the gym but I think some of the equipment is broken. I was using the assisted pullup machine and I had to add 130 pounds of assistance to do five pullups.
Bruce: So you have the strength of a 30 pound person or as they are commonly referred to toddler.
Tom: Yeah, well this toddler is getting stronger thanks to pure protein power of peas.
Bruce: Funny, I think a lot of toddler use mashed up peas as a source of power.
Tom: Yeah they don't taste great though.
Bruce: Lots of toddler have that problem as well.
Tom: Funny, running is going fine. I ran 17 minutes yesterday and skied three times this weekend.

A poke in the eye

Tom: A beautiful day and an excellent 16 minute run. The best I have felt in a few weeks. There is a paved path about half a mile from my house that is plowed which I found today.
Bruce: Why is your eye red?
Tom: I got poked in the eye yesterday playing basketball.
Bruce: Self-inflicted?
Tom: No, why would poke myself in the eye?
Bruce: Yeah I guess your right. Something would really have to be wrong with a person to self-inflict injuries on oneself while being engaged a sport.
Tom: [Walks away]

Indoor track session

Tom: I ran 15 minutes on the indoor track during Cornell practice.
Bruce: Did you pass anyone?
Tom: No, I almost caught a girl running in lane 7 but then she picked up on the straightaway.
Bruce: What did you think of practice?
Tom: The feeling never leaves you that you could jump in there and glide through some intervals with the guys.
Bruce: So should we be on the look out for a rash decision in the ensuing week.
Tom: Nah, just more of the same.

A Comprehensive Picture

Bruce: Where were you this weekend?
Tom: I went back to Boston to go to a friend’s birthday party. I met a few people that follow the running log.
Bruce: What running log?
Tom: This running log, what we are doing right now.
Bruce: What does this conversation have to do with running?
Tom: Well that is what we do here, we get together and discuss my running. What did you think the blog was about?
Bruce: I thought it was a blog about what is wrong with you.
Tom: It is a blog about what is wrong with me in the context of running.
Bruce: I would say the blog is far more comprehensive than you give it credit for.
Tom: Thanks, to bring us back on topic I took the weekend off and did a bit of X-C skiing. This morning I ran 14 minutes and my right achilles a bit sore but besides that felt fine.

10 minutes of glory

Bruce: Were you playing basketball at Barton last night?
Tom: Yeah why?
Bruce: Quite a triumphant return to the Cornell Indoor track.
Tom: I won the game.
Bruce: This definitely seems like a won battle/lost war scenario.
Tom: Agreed, I had a 10 minute run today and felt good except for a few bruises from basketball. I heading to Boston for the weekend.
Bruce: 10 minute run, battle/war scenario #2.
Tom: A win's a win.

When it doubt eat truffles.

Tom: So I feel very good having a plan, once again.

Bruce: Well, your plans do have a habit of working out well. It should be a good race between you and Keith this weekend.

Tom: Funny, I am serious though. There was a day over the break when I without a plan and I was thinking about exercising and just decided that there was no real point. It was about 10am and I decided just to eat truffles instead.

Bruce: So is the current plan to try restrain from eating truffles until at least 10:30am.

Tom: No, I am running every other day and started at 6 minutes. I so far have done 6, 6, 9 minute runs. I also biked yesterday for 35 minutes, played some basketball last night, and lifted two nights ago. I am going to start lifting a bit with both my upper and lower body to try to get a little more muscular, a little more testosterone-driven.

Bruce: How is that going so far?

Tom: Right now I can barely use my right shoulder as it is so sore.

Bruce: I will get the truffles ready.

State of the Union Address

Bruce: Is this going to be long?
Tom: Well we have about a week of training to catch up on.
Bruce: No problem we should be able to bang this out in a few moments. Have you run this week?
Tom: No.
Bruce: Great, to summarize the union is still completely bankrupt, tune in next month to hear more of the same.
Tom: Sit down. To give a more detailed summary, I got back from India and after two weeks off I tried to start running again only to have my calf re-tighten within 2 days. I had the same problem this summer and it lasted 3 months. I decided to take 10 days off, get some physio, and do some cross country skiing. I ran for 7 minutes today and things felt alright but a little tight following the run.
Bruce: Riveting stuff, so what can we expect in ensuing weeks? A 8 minute run perhaps?
Tom: I am going to build painstaking slowly back to 20 minutes runs and take it from there.

Some kind of terrible

Bruce: You look terrible.
Tom: The run today was a bit of a struggle. I only ran 3 miles but felt a bit tight and have a bad cold. I did get a massage that hopefully will help my stave off the calf problem.
Bruce: Feeling ready for your race against Keith in three weeks?
Tom: Yeah, thanks for the reminder.

Question: 2009 Comeback? Answer: Wobblehead

Bruce: What does wobblehead mean?
Tom: It is an Indian concept. When you ask local a question in India, they answer by wobbling their head.
Bruce: What does the wobble mean?
Tom: I can mean either yes, no, I understand, or you are confusing me.
Bruce: That is useless.
Tom: Hence the answer to question whether a 2009 comeback will happen is a wobblehead. Yes, no, I understand, I am confused. What do you think?
Bruce: I think no.
Tom: You could have at least done the wobblehead.
Bruce: No, I am quite sure in my previous answer.
Tom: I am re-starting running back in Boston in two days when I return after a few weeks off.