Break-ups

Bruce: Who broke up?
Tom: Can't we talk about running.
Bruce: Fine did you run today?
Tom: Actually I took the day off. I ran 45 minutes the day before and thought with the terrible weather it would be a good chance to give the body a rest.
Bruce: Right, whatever, tell us the story.
Tom: Well I kind went through a break up today.
Bruce: But you are not dating anyone.
Tom: True.
Bruce: So you broke up with someone who you were not dating.
Tom: Yeah, I guess I did.
Bruce: I hope she responded with "I never saw this coming."

A family run

Bruce: You run with George?
Tom: Yeah, my sister, Hannah, ran with us for a bit until we lifted the pace and left her.
Bruce: That was nice of you.
Tom: A good day of training, a 45 minute run.
Bruce: Who won the race between George and you?
Tom: How do you know we raced at the end of the run?
Bruce: George is unemployed and out of shape and you, well the blog speaks for itself. It seems only logical that there would a race for the biggest loser.
Tom: Well in a dramatic sprint I beat George to the house. So I guess I am not the biggest loser.
Bruce: George is 15 pounds heavier so he definitely takes the biggest loser title, however pound for pound I would say it is a dead heat.

A single gay prostitute

Tom: I had a great run along the Fenway for 42 minutes. Everything in its right place.
Bruce: Tell us the story then...
Tom: What story?
Bruce: Come on, you know that nobody is interested in the fact that you managed to run. They would not have read past the word "great" if not for the fact that they thought the blog post had a story about gay prostitution.
Tom: There are some people interested in my running.
Bruce: Just tell the story...
Tom: Well my run today took me past the part of Boston where the gay prostitutes hang out. When I ran by the spot, there was just one gay prostitute standing around smoking a cigarette looking quite sad.
Bruce: And..
Tom: Well that is it.
Bruce: I think I speak for everyone that actually decided to read this blog today when I say... that was a horrible story and I hate you.
Tom: Happy thanksgiving.

Everything in its right place

Bruce: I saw you running by the law school today.
Tom: How did I look?
Bruce: You looked like a guy that put on his nicest running clothes, jogged slowly to the law school, then ran hard along the street by the school hoping that someone might recognize him.
Tom: I did run by the law school in the course of my 21 minute run.
Bruce: Well how did it work out?
Tom: Not great, nobody was outside I should have waited for the class switchover period.
Bruce: Next time.... clown.

The knee is better, everything good to go for tommorow

Bruce: Thank god, the small talk was killing me....we will have something worth talking about tommorow....

Tuesday=Big Run Day

Tom: Really nothing happened today, all I have for the blog is that I am planning on running Tuesday.
Bruce: Nothing ever happens and you normally write something.
Tom: Well, less than my normal nothing happened today.
Bruce: So do you want to talk about me for a change?
Tom: Well, I think most of the readers have come to the blog to hear about me.
Bruce: What are you worried that people will see that I do lots of interesting things that you never do and start reading my blog instead.
Tom: Fine, tell the reader one interesting thing that you did today that I never do.
Bruce: Today I went for a run....
Tom: I hate you

I going to buy a gun, drive up there, and put you out of your misery

Tom: So I am generating fan mail.
Bruce: Delinquincy reminders on parking tickets do not count as fan mail.
Tom: No, I received an email from a friend offering to buy a gun, drive up to Ithaca, and put me out of my misery.
Bruce: Did you decide to take him up on the offer? It would resolve the parking ticket situation.
Tom: Nah, I figured I would hold out for a better offer.
Bruce: For the benefit of the readers, are you ever planning on running?
Tom: My knee is still swollen, I am hoping to be back running by Tuesday.
Bruce: So bad parking tickets jokes until then?
Tom: [Hangs head and leaves]
Bruce: What is wrong with Tom McArdle?

Wait you are serious

Tom: So I talked with a friend today.
Bruce: A guy with no job?
Tom: How did you know?
Bruce: Lucky guess
Tom: Anyways, he thought that I was actually joking about all the injury problems.
Bruce: There is nothing funny about made-up injuries. They have been plauging the mentally unstable community for decades.
Tom: Funny.
Bruce: I try.

Ridicuritus

Tom: So I have diagnosed the problem in the left knee as ridicuritus.
Bruce: What is ridicuritus?
Tom: Well, there is a bit of a story behind ridicuritus.
Bruce: Never mind, I do not want to hear the story.
Tom: Well maybe the readers want to hear the story.
Bruce: No I talked to your brother today and he is not interested.
Tom: So the story... When I was a Nike Athlete.
Bruce: In the mid-80s
Tom: I went to a training camp in Park City.
Bruce: As the team driver.
Tom: Quiet, anyways I got hurt and I went to see a doctor about my problem. My friend Mark had commented on how I was always suffering from these made-up injuries. (He is no longer my friend) The doctor said I was suffering from ridicuritis. When I told Mark about the injury, he pointed out that the ailment is likely just the pathological expression of the word ridiculous and that all my problems had just been ridicuritus.
Bruce: Was that supposed to be funny or just pathetic.
Tom: Funny, how did it come off?
Bruce: Pathetic.

This is what is wrong with Tom McArdle

Bruce: Alright I could not find Tom, so I am posting as I have enough material today to fulfill the mission statement of the website of what is wrong with Tom McArdle. These were my observation this afternoon:

2:30pm: I see Tom walking home rubbing the side of leg mumbling to himself. Everyone walking the other way keeps a large distance between them and him.

2:45pm: Tom emerges from his house and starts running backwards up and down the street in some odd warm-up ritual. He is still talking to himself. A creepy old guy walking by keeps his distance.

2:46pm: Tom stops running backwards and walk inside the house. The leg rubbing has re-started and he is still talking to himself. I keep my distance from him.

3:00pm: Tom, wearing street clothes, re-appears from his house eating cheesecake.

From my observation I have drawn the following conclusions:

1. His left knee is bothering him.
2. His roommate will be quite disappointed when he returns home looking forward to the cheesecake that he had kept in the fridge.
3. The correct answer to the question what is wrong with Tom McArdle is everything.

I am going to stop reading this blog

Bruce: You look terrible.
Tom: Thanks.
Bruce: No, I am mean you look worse than usual.
Tom: Is that any better than your first comment.
Bruce: My point is that I want you to explain to the readers (i.e. your mom) why you look tired today?
Tom: I had a 4 hour night of sleep followed by a long day of school.
Bruce: So let me guess no running today.
Tom: Today was actually a built in day off just to finish off the problems. Hamstring feels great though left knee got a bit sore again.
Bruce: So what next injury can we the fan base expect to hear made up stories about?
Tom: Not answering that question, but I am going to run 2 days on and build back by the end of the week to 45 minute runs.

What happened

Bruce: Why didn't you post last night?
Tom: Things got crazy and I was too busy to post.
Bruce: Too busy to post, what did you have to post?
Tom: Well I ran 20 minutes and felt quite a bit better.
Bruce: You were too busy to post that.
Tom: Yes.... no...leave me alone.

Is anyone alive in there

Tom: Bruce?
Tom: Hello, Bruce are you there?
Bruce: Go away.
Tom: The door is locked can I come in?
Bruce: No.
Tom: What about the blog?
Bruce: What blog?
Tom: You know the running blog.
Bruce: What about it?
Tom: Well, we need to write something.
Bruce: What do we need to right about?
Tom: We need to write about my running.
Bruce: Did you run today?
Tom: No
Bruce: Then just post a blank page, I am going back to bed.

Didn't I see you out dancing last night

Tom: The weather in Ithaca was miserable today. I tried to road bike but got a mile out of town before having to turn around due to the rain.
Bruce: How is the recovery from the latest mysterious and likely made-up injury going?
Tom: Actually I was hoping that I would feel a bit better today. I think I will take tomorrow off to be safe. I am still getting a little nervy pain down my right side.
Bruce: Didn't I see you dancing on a window ledge in bar last night around 12:30?
Tom: You were in the bar? Thanks for saying hi.
Bruce: I got a reputation to keep up. Anyways my point is how can you be out dancing when you are not feeling well enough to run.
Tom: I am not sure. I guess I was not thinking about it last night and it felt alright when I was dancing.
Bruce: Maybe you could convince Keith to switch the 5k race to a dance-off.
Tom: Seems unlikely.
Bruce: The two challenges are not too different. In both someone will get physically sick. It is just a matter of whether it will be the contestants or the spectators.

2nd best runner in the house

Tom: Am I completely hopeless?
Bruce: Hopeless would imply that you do not have hope which is certainly not the case. I would say delusional is a better description.
Tom: I went for a bike ride today and saw my roommate, who as far as I know not run in a few months, heading out for a run. He went 10 miles, which is further than I have run in a year and a half.
Bruce: Does he have a blog?
Tom: No
Bruce: Tell me him if he decides to start one, I know a guy interested in working with him.
Tom: Who?
Bruce: Me
Tom: What is wrong with working on this blog?
Bruce: I always saw myself working on a running blog.

Not a Glam Blog

Tom: I tweaked my back/glute/hamstring on my right side doing some strength work yesterday. My leg bothered me a bit yesterday and this morning but I ended up going for a 50 minute run with a friend. I felt a bit out of sorts on the run. I am going to take the next 2 days off.
Bruce: Well you know what they say?
Tom: Things have a way of working themselves out?
Bruce: I was thinking more of bad things happen to stupid people.
Tom: Why do I talk to you?
Bruce: Do you know anyone else that will talk to you everyday?
Tom: No, but that is besides the point.
Bruce: Well you could just have a glam blog where you describe how great your life is to readers.
Tom: I think that might be a tough sell.

Oh, I think they like us

Tom: Better yet I know.
Tom: Lights Camera Action when I walk through door.
Bruce: OHHHHH!!!!
Tom: OHHHHH!!!!!!
Tom: 6 followers........
Bruce: And still no "dates." Hard to believe.
Tom: 51 minutes today

Two miles, Two websites, Two runners, One challenge

Bruce: Judging by the title I am guessing that a massive over-reaction to a tiny glimmer of success is about to happen.
Tom: You might be right, I did have an excellent two mile tempo run on the rail trail 5:22, 5:16.
Bruce: And you are now going to explain to your brother and the five guys without jobs that read this site what plan you have decided to adopt to lead to your next massive injury.
Tom: You maybe right again, anyways I have decided to challenge Keith Kelly, www.kelrock.blogspot.com, to race a 5k against me at the Terrier Classic in Boston on January 24th. I figured if both of us are publicly committed to racing then it will provide me with a compelling reason to do everything possible to stay healthy by being prudent with my training until that time.
Bruce: Keith Kelly, wasn't he deported?
Tom: The situation was resolved.
Bruce: So what you are saying is that Tom McArdle, who has been training for 2 weeks, is challenging a guy that is on his eighth knee surgery to race him?
Tom: Yeah
Bruce: I am not sure where to begin with this one.
Tom: Alert the media?
Bruce: I will start with the New England Journal of Medicine.

90% of my runs serve a different purpose than Bruce's songs

Bruce: Read this: http://cornellsun.com/section/daze/content/2008/11/10/student-artist-spotlight-jeffrey-connor-and-bruce-hyde
Tom: Cut it out, this blog is supposed to be about me.
Bruce: Yeah that would explain why all the hits are coming from guys.
Tom: The hit tracker does not keep a record of whether the hits are coming from males or females.
Bruce: It is a running log that discusses your occasional 20 minute runs. I think it is safe to say that the hits are coming from guys.
Tom: True.
Bruce: So you want to say anything?
Tom: I had a solid 47 minute run today on the rail trail. I am thinking of doing a light workout tomorrow.

Day of rest

Tom: I took a day off today since hate not running during the school week.
Bruce: What did you do today?
Tom: I went for a walk around Bebee Lake.
Bruce: With a Girl?
Tom: With a Guy.
Bruce: Cute
Tom: Yeah stopped by the art musuem on the way back.
Bruce: Who says romance is dead.
Tom: Funny, big week ahead.

A New Low...

Bruce: Oh man, I have a story for you.
Tom: [In another room] Hey get off my blog.
Bruce: The public wants to know.
Tom: Come on, this is a running blog.
Bruce: Just answer the questions, first of all what happened last night?
Tom: Well my blog got audited.
Bruce: And what were the results of the audit?
Tom: Well it turns out that one of my posts on the blog was a bit misleading.
Bruce: In what regards?
Tom: You already know the story.
Bruce: Just keep answering the questions.
Tom: Well in an earlier post I had mentioned that I went on a dinner date with my usual lunch companion.
Bruce: And?
Tom: Well it turns out that person audited the blog and wanted a retraction saying that it was just a friendly dinner and not a date at all.
Bruce: [Laughing]
Tom: So I ran the story by my publicist, who described the event as "a new low."
Bruce: Well, on the bright side at least you learned that someone actually reads this thing.
Tom: On the plus side I ran with an old Dartmouth teammate who showed me some amazing trails in Ithaca. I had requested a 5-6 mile run and we ended up going an hour. I feel really good nonetheless. I will run a bit shorter tomorrow.
Bruce: So any "dinner dates" tonight that you want to mention?
Tom: [Leaves]

More Rail

Tom: Back to the rail trail for a 45 minutes run.
Bruce: What kind of pace were you running?
Tom: Probably around 6:45 pace. That is the pace I was running on the recorded miles on the rail trail path.
Bruce: This site has two new followers. What is wrong with people?
Tom: Dude, the comeback, be ready.

Delayed Gratification

Tom: I am so pathetic.
Bruce: I already knew that but why?
Tom: So there is beautiful rail trail only a mile from my house that I only just discovered today.
Bruce: We ran out there your first day here.
Tom: I know, I completely forgot about it. Anyways I had an unbelievable run, I ended up going 47 minutes.
Bruce: That is actually a decent run.
Tom: I am going to take the compliment and end this post.

Fake M&A, Fake Basketball, Fake Runner

Bruce: You seem a bit restless
Tom: I had planned on running today but decided to take a day off today since had a Merger and Acquisitions seminar that I wanted to go to and a game of basketball in the evening. I figured I needed to take one more day off to be safe and it seemed like a good day.
Bruce: Shouldn't you be playing basketball then?
Tom: They canceled the game, so now I have a day with no exercise which does not sit well with me.
Bruce: Sucks, dude.
Tom: The good news is as a fake music fan as well, I started listening to MGMT today and found some good positive energy from their music.
Bruce: Considering that you are six years behind in your running, the fact that you are only one year behind in your music makes you a better music fan than runner.
Tom: Thanks.

Look good, feel good

Tom: Beautiful day, ran a solid 4 miles without a shirt.
Bruce: Are you hoping that reader make the inference that you look good without a shirt on?
Tom: Yeah, too subtle?
Bruce: No, just too pathetic.
Tom: I started a light circuit after my run doing pedestal , weightless squats, and calf raises.
Bruce: Look good, feel good?
Tom: Exactly.
Bruce: Clown.

Light 4, light head cold

Tom: Easy 4 miles today felt good.
Bruce: Long Run?
Tom: Actually have a light cold so a bit depleted following the run.
Bruce: Well maybe you are rushing the comeback. You built quickly from 3 to 4 miles.
Tom: You know readers cannot detect sarcasm
Bruce: Oh they know.

Baller

Tom: Played basketball today on a scheduled day off.
Bruce: Is that even worth posting?
Tom: Lots of running coming up this week.
Bruce: Wake me up when you run more than 3 miles.

Party Guy

Tom: I threw a big party last night
Bruce: Isn't this a running blog?
Tom: You are the one that is always complaining that I am not doing much running.
Bruce: Yeah that does not mean I want to hear about your friends drinking beer and going home at 10:30
Tom: Hey we kept it going until midnight.
Bruce: Exactly
Tom: Well, as far as running goes I got in 20 minutes and felt quite good. Little stiff from all the traveling.

Heps

Tom: I went to Heps today
Bruce: I know I went with you
Tom: I know, you know, I am saying that for the people that are reading the blog.
Bruce: You actually think people read this blog.
Tom: Come on, the public wants to know about my training.
Bruce: What training?
Tom: [Leaves]
Bruce: Day off for Tom

Kicking it off with a day off

Tom: I had a great 20 minute run today
Bruce: Who has great 20 minute runs?
Tom: Guys who have had a few 3 minute runs followed by 10 minute walks home, have great 20 minute runs.
Bruce: So getting back on it?
Tom: Yep, kicking it off with a day off.